[Dream]

Samuel walked out of the warmth of the library and across the courtyard twelve stories above ground level, and stood looking through the window pane of another unit. They couldn't see him, but he watched them...

Two men sat across from each other, separated by a table, but from their expressions it was clear that physical distance meant nothing. They spoke, but in their own language. Words, gestures, looks that passed between them, a certain angle of a tilted head had the other smiling.

It was funny. Even when it was silent between them, and each was finishing the food on his plate... he just knew there wasn't really a silence. A lump rose in his throat. He leaned his forehead against the cool glass, his heart yearning.

Things would be so much easier if he were human. Maybe. The image of angry green eyes was emblazoned in his memory. He blinked it away, swallowing hard as one of the men got up and pulled the other one to his feet. It wasn't the stark desire in the tall one's face that got his attention, it was the gentle way he pulled the other close and whispered in his ear, before taking his mouth.

Samuel...

Sam didn't answer. The backlash of his earlier use of the link was still loading down on his heart.

"Samuel."

This time he turned at the sound of Dean's voice, swallowing hard when he saw him standing at the French doors, holding a bowl of strawberries. He was wearing white pajama bottoms, and Sam could see right through them because the light was behind him.

Dragging his eyes away, he looked at the men again, but they were pushing and pulling each other... leaving.

"Samuel."

Turning back, Sam felt his blood thicken... his heart quicken. Everything he wanted... the only thing he'd ever really wanted... right there... calling him. He shook his head. "You make me want to sin."

This time, instead of a hurt look, his rebellious ward merely gave him a heated look and walked inside the library.

Caught. Hook, line and sinker, Samuel walked barefooted across the cold cement flor and entered, pulling the door shut behind him.

Dean didn’t recognize the room he walked into, he’d never seen any place like it, but for some reason that didn’t really bother him.

It had a very welcoming feel to it. Comforting, somehow. Old oil lamps and candles filling the room with a softer, warmer, light than he was used to. All the furniture was made of dark wood and looked rather comfortable despite being obvious antiques. Shelves lined every wall filled with books, and there was a fire burning in the fireplace across the room. Heating the air and warming his skin even though he was dressed in practically nothing but a pair of loose white pajama bottoms.

He walked slowly towards the fireplace. Chuckling a little when he noticed the bearskin rug laying on the floor in front of the fireplace. How cliché could you get? But it felt surprisingly plush soft underneath his bare feet and he sighed a little as he wiggled his toes.

Turning around to set down the bowl, he hadn’t even realized was in his hands till now, on a table between two comfortable looking armchairs. A bowl of fresh ripe strawberries, his mouth practically watered with wanting to taste them.

It was then he heard a door shut softly behind him and Dean turned around. A pleased smile pulling at his lips when he saw who was there.

“Samuel…”

He stood at the door, staring intently at Dean. What was it about this man, and this man alone that got him so tangled inside? He needed to know... before it drove him crazy.

In a few long strides, he was standing in front of Dean... inches separating his black pajama clad body from Dean’s. Reaching out, he ran his knuckles down the side of Dean’s face, over the contours of his cheeks and jaw line, down the side of his neck, and then splaying his palm across his throat and bringing it back up so he could run his thumb back and forth across Dean’s mouth.

His heart was tumbling in his chest as he tried to put into words, what he saw. “Raphael is supposed to be the most beautiful angel, but I never saw anyone as beautiful as you. He has the straightest nose, but it does nothing for me,” he said in a husky voice he barely recognized. Bending his head, he ran his mouth over the slight bump on Dean’s nose, lingering to kiss it. “And your eyes... they’re like fire. I should be immune, but they burn me. They make me catch fire and I don’t know how to stop it.”

Move away. Leave him. Leave him be.

Even the thought hurt him. Licking his lips, he leaned in again and kissed Dean’s forehead, moving his mouth over every inch of his face, memorizing it for all time, before pulling away.

“Do you still want strawberries?” The scent of the fruit permeated the air around them.

Dean stood still, barely even able to breathe, as Samuel approached him slowly. Utterly mesmerized by the way the angel’s body moved. The way the candlelight played in golden highlights and deep shadows against his toned, muscled, chest. He looked like a walking work of art. The most beautiful thing Dean had ever laid eyes on.

The young man’s breath hitched in his throat when Sam reached out to touch his face so tenderly. Making his skin flush and tingle everywhere the angel touched. Dean swallowed when Sam’s hand touched his throat. His lips parting a little, his breath growing heavier, when the angel’s thumb ghosted over them.

He felt his insides go a little weak when Samuel called him beautiful… more beautiful than an angel? Dean found that so hard to believe, especially since he didn’t think anyone could possibly be more beautiful than Samuel.

His lips quirked a little bit in amusement however when Samuel went on to talk about his nose of all things. Kissing it. He’d told Samuel once already he read too much damn poetry and… Dean’s thoughts all came to a pause, even as a sweet, almost achingly sweet, warmth began to fill him with every brush of the angel’s lips across his face. Soft, loving, and so… real…

But this was a dream. Somehow Dean knew he was dreaming, but…

Samuel?

Dean looked up into the angel’s face. His eyes wide with wonder. Drowning in Samuel’s gaze.

“I want you.” He whispered. Leaning in closer to the angel. His hands coming to rest on the bare skin of Samuel’s chest. Dean could feel his warmth. The angel’s heart beating beneath his hand. Oh god… how was this happening? He didn’t care… “Only you…”

The angel’s nostrils flared. Just two steps and he had Dean backed up against the shelves. He wanted... needed to worship every part of him. Taking Dean’s hand off his chest, he put it on the ladder, and then he took his other hand, and put it on one of the shelves. Keep them there. Please.

Fighting the urge to touch Dean with his hands, Samuel gripped the shelves on either side of Dean’s shoulders and pulled himself forward, until they were chest to chest. He slid against him a few times, biting his lower lip at the rush of heat surging toward his cock. His skin prickled with awareness, burned everywhere he brushed against Dean, and when he felt Dean pushing back, it was like a dam broke and he was defenseless against the needs that had been ravaging his body for days.

Slanting his mouth over Dean’s, he swept his tongue inside, exploring, stroking, tasting strawberries and innocence. The pang of guilt was nothing in comparison to the firestorm of emotions that overtook him. Want you. Only you, he echoed over and over, kissing him harder, with a wild recklessness that was unfamiliar to him.

With each kiss, each stab of his tongue, the need to have Dean grew. He wanted to touch him so bad, and he shared his need... his mental images of hands exploring, groping, gripping, driving him wilder even as he resisted. His biceps bulged with the strain as he pushed and pulled himself against Dean, moving so hard some of the books started to fall around them. And still... he didn’t touch...

Dean gasped as Samuel backed him up against one of the bookshelves. His heart beating harder in his chest. Nervousness, excitement, making him tremble a little as his hands were placed on the shelf and ladder beside him. He licked his lips, staring up into the angel’s hungry eyes. So much heat in them he felt like he was burning up from the inside out.

And then Samuel was pressing up against him. Their whole bodies rubbing together as the angel moved and Dean’s breath left him in a shuddering gasp. His eyes rolling closed, his head falling back with a whimpering moan. Before the sounds of pleasure he was making were swallowed up by Samuel’s lips.

Dean gripped the shelf beside him hard, the wood biting into his fingertips trying to hold himself up but it was really only the angel’s body keeping him upright at the moment. It felt so good. So good… Samuel’s mouth, his body, his heat rolling over him in waves. The friction of their bodies rubbing together making him so hard he was aching and leaking within seconds, but he still needed more. It wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough.

“Please Samuel… please…” He whimpered between kisses, gasping desperately for breath. Need you. Please touch me.

Dean’s plea ignited the fires smoldering in Samuel. His hands slipped off the shelves, and he gripped Dean’s shoulders, running his hands along his arms and back. Pulling back only slightly, he watched the play of golden light on dancing across Dean’s chest, emphasizing with shadows and light every masculine plane of his body.

Sam ran his palms over Dean’s chest and abs, mesmerized by the way Dean tensed and shuddered under his hands. The unexpected intensity of lust coursing through his body in reaction sent his senses reeling. “Dean... so fucking beautiful.” He wasn’t even aware he’d sworn as he pressed his mouth into Dean’s throat and then slowly lowered himself down to his knees, leaving a fiery trail of open mouthed, hot, slick kisses all the way to the waistband of Dean’s pajama bottoms.

He looped his arms around Dean, cupping his ass, then moving his hands up and down the back of his legs as he looked up at him. The heat in Dean’s eyes were almost his undoing. Groaning, he put his forehead against Dean’s stomach, resting there for a minute before moving his mouth over the clear outline of Dean’s shaft visible through the white pajamas. He felt Dean shudder, and a white hot bolt of electricity ripped through him.

His heart was thundering, the blood pounding at his forehead. He’d never done this, he wanted to get it right. Once more, he kissed Dean over the pants, then hooked his fingers into their waistband and slipped the thin material down his hips, and to the ground. His gaze was laser focused on Dean’s fully erect cock, his mouth burned for a taste as he looked up and started moving toward it.

The first brush of Samuel’s fingers over his skin, and Dean thought he might just die. No, he would die if the angel stopped touching him. If Samuel pushed him away again. The young man whimpered when the angel pulled back, even as he arched into the hands that slid over his chest and stomach. His body trembling with so much need he felt like he was going to shake apart. That the angel’s hands roaming over his flesh were the only things holding him together.

Dean’s head fell back, another whimper breaking its way out of his throat when he felt the angel’s lips kiss his neck. His eyelashes fluttering closed, his breath quickening when those sinful lips left hot, wet, kisses down his front.

He forced his eyes open, looking down at the angel on his knees in front of him. Wanting, needing, to watch even as the sight left him almost unable to breathe. He might as well have been wearing nothing at all, the thin pants he was wearing not hiding his hard leaking cock at all. Or really any barrier when he felt the angel’s hands slide over his ass.

The young man moaned, pushing back into the hands that gripped his ass, even as the feeling of Samuel’s hot breath on him through the thin pants he was wearing made him want to push forward. Seeking out more of the warmth, and sweet pleasure his mouth promised. His hands gripped the shelves behind him harder. Trying desperately to find something to support him, something he sorely needed when the angel’s lips finally traced along the outline of his shaft through the thin material and his knees nearly gave out completely.

“Samuel…” The sound he made was something between a moan and a desperate whine, he probably should have been embarrassed over, but he didn’t care. Because Samuel was now sliding down his pajamas. The soft material caressing his hips and legs teasing him, leaving him a shuddering mess of nerves, and then he was standing there naked in front of the angel’s hungry gaze.

His fingers wove their way into Samuel’s hair. He hadn’t even realized he’d let go of the shelves until he felt the soft strands sliding through his fingers. He could barely believe this was happening. Even in a dream…

“Please…”

Sam’s entire body reacted to the desperate plea. It’s a damned good thing you don’t know what you do to me when your voice goes deep like that. The slight nudge at the back of his head put him in motion. He grasped Dean’s cock, moving his hand over it… marveling at how it was both velvety smooth and hard as steel at the same time.

Mouth to cock. The image flashed in his mind, swamping him with need, and he wasn’t sure whose imagination it was anymore. Opening his mouth, he kissed Dean’s tip, lingering, then running his tongue around his crown. The low sound that broke from Dean only made him yearn to drive Dean closer to the edge.

He licked the flat of his tongue down the side of Dean’s cock, and then dragged it back up its underside, always aware … very aware of the sensations he was causing, and sharing them. For a long time, he licked and teased, learned what it felt like to touch Dean with his tongue, what he tasted like, and how he reacted to different levels of pressure. Then Dean’s hips were thrusting forward, and he couldn’t ignore the boy’s needs anymore than his own craving to take him inside his mouth.

Opening his mouth, he sucked Dean’s crown, then relaxed his jaw and took as much of him as he could. When he sucked… dear God, Dean’s reaction had his senses reeling. He did again, and again, moving his mouth up and down, squeezing the base of Dean’s cock with one hand, and holding his ass with the other. As Dean started to buck, a new desire hit Sam. I want you. Under me. Just like this. He didn’t care if Dean realized how desperate he was now.

Dean had dreamed about feeling Sam’s hand on him, craving his touch again ever since the first time. Every time he touched himself, he imagined it was the angel’s fingers playing with him rather than his own, but it had never felt as good. Now, feeling those warm fingers circling around him, sliding up and down his length. It was so good, so damn good, the young man had to fight not to lose himself within seconds just from that little friction. Especially when he knew there was more to come. Samuel’s soft lips kissing the tip of his shaft, his hot wet tongue circling around…

“Oh god…” The young man groaned low in his throat. His fingers tightening in the angel’s hair without realizing it. His head falling back, his eyes rolling closed, lips parted and panting as pleasure like he’d never experienced before, never imagined, overwhelmed him. Every touch of the angel’s tongue on his sensitive flesh leaving him trembling with need. His hips instinctively thrusting forward for more.

“Sam!” Dean cried out his lover’s name desperately when he felt the angel’s lips wrapping around him. His hips bucking against his will as Sam took him inside his hot wet mouth, sucking on his cock. Making every nerve ending in his body explode with pleasure. He heard the angel's desire whisper through his mind and if not for Sam's fingers holding around the base of his cock he probably would have come right then.

“Yes… oh God, yes… Sam…”

Coming to his feet, Sam stood inches away from Dean. Wordlessly, he pushed his pants down just enough to free his aching cock. As he swayed forward, Dean came into his arms, and they were kissing, and pushing against each other, skin to skin.

Sam had his hands on Dean’s ass and lifted him up, dragging him up hard against his arousal, groaning as his cock dragged against Dean's. “Legs around me,” he said, and then they were standing there, fucking against each other, and the damn books were falling again. Fire inched through Sam’s veins, made his heart pound with a terrible need.

He started to walk backwards, still lifting Dean up and down his body, helping him ride him as he ungracefully made his way toward the bearskin in front of the fire. “Unh… unh… Good... so good.” Holding him tight, he let Dean slid down and once his feet touched the rug, helped him lay back. On his knees, Sam stripped his pants off completely and tossed them aside.

As he looked down at Dean, his heart gave an awkward tumble. He did love him. Loved him in a way he shouldn’t. Loved him in the way he’d seen in the expression of the man next door. Swallowing hard, he straddled Dean’s hips, and sat down, sliding his ass up and down over Dean’s erection, and stroking his chest… watching him, dying for another taste… and knowing one taste would never be enough. Not ever.

He crawled up Dean’s body, bracing his weight slightly as he brought his hips down and started to thrust. Sam moved excruciatingly slowly, enjoying the pleasure and pain… fighting both the needs of his body and Dean’s. He wanted to watch him come apart… he needed to. No. Don’t close your eyes.

For one horrifying moment Dean believed that Samuel had actually changed his mind and was stopping. That the angel was going to push him away as he’d done before, and the young whimpered, practically in pain with need when Sam released his cock and stood. He reached desperately for the angel, prepared to beg, anything to convince him not to stop, but the young man realized quickly that Sam wasn’t moving away.

He gasped sharply as he watched the angel free his cock, beautifully hard and flushed with arousal, and Dean wrapped his arms tightly around Samuel’s shoulders when the angel pulled him close. Whimpering into the kiss, his fingers digging into the hard muscles of Samuel’s back, clinging to the angel as he was pulled tightly against his body. Samuel’s hard cock like a hot iron brand against his stomach, Samuel’s lips making him burn, and God he wanted it… so much…

Then Sam was lifting him into his arms like he weighed nothing at all, and Dean wound his legs around the angel’s hips. All the breath seeming to leave his lungs in a low groan of pleasure when the angel pushed him back up against the bookcase and thrust against him. The angel’s cock dragging against his own and leaving a hot wet trail across his stomach, and Dean was far beyond any thought other than to cling tighter, push harder, wanting, needing more, always more.

He almost wasn’t sure how they ended up on the rug in front of the fireplace without toppling over in an undignified way and it probably would have been amusing as hell if he could think of anything else other than the need to touch, kiss, and caress every inch of Sam’s body that he could. Laying there, panting, spread out on the soft rug while Samuel looked down at him he’d never felt so vulnerable and safe at the same time. He stared up at the angel with complete trust. Complete love he couldn’t even begin to express in words, so he simply let his feelings wash across their bond and drowned in the feelings he could feel coming from Samuel in return.

Dean’s hips bucked up as the angel straddled his hips. Rubbing himself hard against his ass. His body arching into the warm strong hands that explored his chest and his own hands slid up the angel’s thighs and hips. Gripping at his waist so hard as Sam moved over him that he was almost afraid he’d leave bruises on the angel’s perfect skin, but he couldn’t make himself stop. Trying to drag Samuel closer, always closer, like he wouldn’t be satisfied until they were one being rather than two.

Oh god it was almost too much… he never imagined it could be like this…

“Samuel…” Dean panted, fighting to keep his eyes open as Samuel asked even when he thought he might just pass out from the overload to his senses. As the angel leaned over him. Their bodies fitting together like they were made for each other, as they moved slowly together. Too damn slowly it almost hurt, but it felt so damn good at the same time he wanted it to last forever.

“I love you…” He whispered breathlessly. His short nails dragging up the length of the angel’s back before his fingers twined in Samuel’s hair and the young man tugged him down for another desperate needy kiss. Moving his tongue over the angel’s like he wanted to feel Sam move against him. Inside of him… oh dear god… He wanted to feel the angel hard and hot and throbbing, moving deep inside him, filling him up, making him forget completely every other way he’d been touched before.

Just imagining the angel pushing his cock inside of him had him shaking with desire. Imagining Sam fucking him… no, he hated that word. What Rick had made him beg for when he’d never wanted it. He wanted Samuel to make love to him.

Want to feel you inside of me… He sent, staring up at the angel with wide pleading eyes. Spreading his legs unashamedly wider, thrusting up harder, faster, dragging his leaking cock against the angel’s as his body trembled harder. At this rate he wasn’t even sure he could last long enough… Please, touch me inside, Samuel… Please…

Samuels brows were knitted with concentration, sheer will and the desire to make this moment last, helping him cling to the last threads of his control. Each time he moved, each time he watched Dean struggle to keep his eyes open for him, each glimpse or hunger and need like he'd never seen... never experienced, drove him closer the edge.

His entire body clenched at Dean's words of love. Before he could answer, his head had been pulled down and they were kissing again, so hotly, so desperately, he could barely think. I know. Me too.

They moved in perfect rhythm, faster, harder against each other, tongues twining, slipping over each other until Sam was breathless. Just when he though the pressure building inside him couldn't grow worse, Dean asked to be touched from the inside. He reared up as urgent need suddenly slammed into him, pooling at his groin, making him thicker and harder when he thought it wasn't possible.

He felt Dean tremble, felt him willing him to do as he asked. Pleading with his eyes and with the motions of his body. Sam was so caught in the grips of the same need to get closer, to be inside Dean, there was no way he could refuse, even if he'd wanted to.

On his knees, Sam sat back with Dean's legs spread on either side of him. His heated gaze traveled up and down Dean's flushed body, nestled against the white fur. His breath caught in his throat. So beautiful. I want to see you from the inside.

As the words formed in the angel's mind, he both didn't know himself and felt like maybe he'd just found himself. He pulled Dean closer, so his ass rested on his Sam's knees and he ran his hand under Dean, sliding it back and forth in the cleft of his ass. Seeing no signs of anxiety, he started to push his middle finger inside Dean's hole, concentrating so that he a warm heat emanated from his hand, soothing, comforting Dean, helping to loosen him up.

When Dean accepted a second and then a third finger, Sam knew he was ready. Looping his arms under Dean's knees, he gripped Dean's thighs and pulled him closer until his ass was up hard against his throbbing cock. Aligning himself, he closed his eyes at the sheer intensity of lust ripping through him. But he'd asked Dean to keep his eyes open, and he would give him the same pleasure so he forced himself to lock gazes with his lover.

As he started to push inside, somehow one of Dean's legs ended up over his shoulder, the other around his waist, pulling at him, drawing him close even as he tried to be patient and ease himself inside. "Ahhh, tight.. so tight," he said hoarsely, as his crown pushed inside. Electricity arced between them. He bit his lip, gripping Dean's thighs as he struggled for control even as Dean closed around him... and all he wanted was to bury himself to the hilt, again, and again. "Oh God...oh God..." he pressed a little more, tiny beads of sweat rolling down his chest as he gulped in lungfuls of air and struggled for control.

Dean’s heart beat faster with excitement, even as his body ached with the loss of Samuel’s heat pressing down on him. Even though the angel’s gaze traveling over his naked skin made him feel warm it wasn’t the same. But then Sam was lifting him up, his fingers gently caressing between the cheeks of his ass making his whole body tingle with that one touch, and when the angel’s finger finally pushed inside of him…

“Samuel!” The young man cried out breathlessly, his fingers tangling in the soft rug underneath him and moaning helplessly when he felt an incredible warmth spreading through him from the inside. Soothing his inner muscles even as the feeling forced his passion up to new almost unbearable heights.

It was all he could do not to writhe helplessly on those probing fingers, sobbing with need. His lips parted as he gasped. His eyes glazed as he stared up at the angel, and it was so hard to keep them open as Samuel had asked. They kept wanting to close and just let himself be washed away by the intensity of the feelings coursing through his blood. At the same time he thought he might just die if he didn’t watch. Didn’t see everything. Burning it into his eyes and mind for the rest of his life.

So much of his life he wished he could forget. He never wanted to forget this. Never.

Then Samuel was lifting him higher, opening him wider, and as he felt the head of his lover’s cock pressing against his hole Dean forced himself to relax. Accept. His fingernails dug into the angel’s bicep and a choked moan forced its way out of his throat when he felt Samuel entering him.

“Oh god… Samuel…” Dean echoed his lover’s cries as the angel slowly filled him, joining them together in the most intimate ways, and the young man opened his mind completely to Samuel. As open as his body was, wanting the angel to feel what he felt, know how good it felt, how much he loved him. Everything.

He tried to push against Samuel. Tried to take more of him. All of him.

“Make love to me… please, Sam...”

The strain of holding still to give Dean’s body a chance to adjust to his entry was almost too much. The angel tried to gain an edge by mentally quoting poetry to keep his mind off of his body’s raging needs. The plan unraveled beautifully the instant Dean fully merged their minds together.

Now Sam was Dealing not only with his desires, but Dean’s needs... his urges... all the things that were in his heart and soul, and it was almost too much. Too much to ask him to hold still. Too much to expect him to be gentle and slow as he’d intended. Too much to ask that he tame the storm of emotions churning inside him.

Sam’s control broke... just like that.

He thrust his hips, biting his lower lip as he buried himself to the hilt inside Dean. The instant he pulled back, almost all the way out, burning waves of desire slammed into him. Giving a strangled cry, he ground his hips again, and they were merged, body and mind... and a part of him wondered about their souls.

An angel should not lust, but with every powerful motion of his hips, he lusted... lusted for Dean, for how he felt inside, for how he squeezed him so tight, for how beautiful and needy he looked with his lips parted and his eyes glazed and unfocused. An angel should never want something to the exclusion of others, but as he pulled Dean’s leg up higher over his shoulder and as he brought them together so hard, he saw white lights flashing behind his eyes, he knew it was a claiming. He was branding Dean, branding him the way Dean had already branded him.

He started to angle his thrusts, short and long, finding what Dean needed... finding the spot that made him gasp, that gave him a piece of heaven, and sharing his pleasure. He arched backward, lifting his hips, picking up the rhythm as he was caught in the grip of something as old as time, and far more powerful than him.

Sheathed deep inside Dean, his cock pulsed and ached, the need for release sneaking up on him. Letting Dean’s leg slide down, Samuel crawled up Dean’s body and started to kiss him as he fucked harder. The merging of their minds was making it hard for him to distinguish his pleasure from Dean’s. All he knew was that with every thrust of his hips, every groan, every heavy breath, and every taste of strawberry, he was one step closer to home.

“Sam!” Dean all but screamed his lover’s name as Samuel filled his body to the hilt in one quick motion. Their bodies and minds joined. Waves of desire and pleasure like he’d never known, never imagined, his own, Samuel’s, crashing into him leaving him reeling. Rocked to his very core.

His body instinctively arched, lifting his hips to accept the angel as deeply as possible. Deeper. More. He needed more. But then the angel was pulling out, drawing back, leaving him, and Dean almost sobbed. Clutching at the angel blindly, trying desperately to draw him back inside.

And then the angel was thrusting hard inside of him again, and again, and again. Just like he wanted. Needed, and Dean couldn’t stop the cries that were ripped from his throat.

“Yes! Oh god… yes! Samuel…”

He had no idea how it could possibly get more intense, but then suddenly Samuel was changing the angle of his thrusts and it was like an electric current of pure pleasure shot through his whole body, and he wondered how his brain didn’t explode completely. His fingers dug into the angel’s arms so hard he was afraid he was leaving scratches on his skin but he needed something to hold onto or he was going to just come apart completely at the seams.

Heat, both familiar and foreign, because he’d never felt it so intense like this even when Samuel had touched him the first time, pooled in his groin. His cock weeping and so hard it hurt. His balls drawing tight against his body and he knew he wasn’t going to last, despite how he wanted it to go on forever. He didn’t want this ever to end. He never wanted Samuel to leave him… knowing he’d feel empty forever if he did…

When the angel released his legs, he wrapped them tightly around his waist. His arms sliding around Samuel’s back, clinging to the angel every way he possibly could. Moaning desperately into the mouth that covered his own again. Their teeth clashing, tongues moving in time with their bodies.

I love you. I love you, Samuel…

Even though he was expecting it, the intensity of his release when it finally hit him had him screaming again. The sound barely muffled as Samuel continued to kiss him. For a few moments he could see nothing but a bright white light, even though his eyes squeezed closed. It was so hot. Burning, and so sweet at the same time. He thought for sure he was going to pass out. That it would be just too much, but he simply held onto Samuel tighter to keep from being swept away. His body shaking like he was having a seizure as his come spilled like liquid fire between their joined bodies.

The pressure of Dean’s fingers biting into him, the way he clung ... the way he refused to allow even a little space between them was not lost on Sam. I love you too, Dean. Sam covered Dean’s mouth and swallowing his every moan, as they rocked harder together.

As Dean started to stiffen, Sam gave in to the firestorm raging out of control low in his belly. Shoving a hand under Dean’s ass, he locked their bodies together, lifting Dean up to meet his every thrust, taking him harder with each thrust of his hips, riding out the storm until white hot heat tore through him and he came deep inside Dean, spilling his seed for the first time ever. Emotions roiled through him, thoughts, needs... if there were a way to stay like this forever, merged in every way possible... if only.

Long after his release, Sam was still moving slowly over Dean, kissing him, touching his face, his throat, his shoulders. I never understood how alone I was before you.

Holding Dean tight, he rolled them over so that Dean was sprawled over his chest and no longer bearing his weight. “You closed your eyes.” He tried for mock severity, then chuckled, “so did I. But I could still see you.”

Every muscle in Dean’s body tensed as he felt the angel’s seed spill deep into his body. Samuel’s pleasure slamming into him, twisting around his own until he couldn’t tell the difference between the two, where one ended and the other began, and the overload of sensations was almost too much for him to handle.

He thought if it was possible to go insane with pleasure, he was quickly nearing that edge, if he hadn’t already fallen over. Every movement of his lover’s hips, his hard cock sliding wetly in and out of his ass, riding him through the intense pleasure, was sweet torture it was so amazing, and he just couldn’t stop the weak, needy, and desperate whimpers and moans pulled from him if his life depended on it.

As the pleasure began to recede, he was left feeling so drained he could only lie still. His muscles still shaking as though an electrical current was still being passed through his body, not so far from the truth, he supposed. Letting Samuel support him as he laid utterly boneless and panting like he simply couldn’t get enough air into his lungs no matter how hard he tried.

Oh god… was this normal? Was this how it was supposed to be? Dean felt close to tears and he wasn’t even sure why. Though the soft kisses and touches soothed him, a few did escape and slide down his cheeks when he heard the angel’s mental whisper, because it echoed exactly what was in his own heart.

Dean whimpered softly when he felt Sam move, clinging to the angel tightly, afraid that he might actually be pulling away, and after all that Dean wasn’t sure he could handle it right now. But Samuel wasn’t pulling away, only switching their positions, and the young man was more than happy to sprawl across the angel’s chest. Still panting and shaking a little, though the violent tremors were slowly growing less now.

He smiled softly when he heard Sam’s words and, not really sure where he found the strength, he pushed himself up a little on his arms. Just enough to look down at Samuel, into the angel’s eyes full of love for him, the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in his entire life.

“Promise me you won’t regret this…” Dean whispered, suddenly afraid, feeling the dream begin to fade.

Sam closed his arms around Dean, sliding his palms down the small of his back, and then in lazy circles over the curve of his ass. "How can you think that?" He started to lift his head to kiss Dean, and something started to happen... something pulled them apart.

***

"Dean!" Samuel jackknifed to a sitting position in his bed. Confused and breathing hard, he tried to piece together what happened. All he knew was that there was an ache between his legs and a warm stickiness was sliding over his thighs.

Scrambling back, he lifted his pajama pants, his eyes growing wide when he saw his bodily fluids. His heart rammed against his chest as he started to remember, as if watching a movie frame by frame, finding Dean in the library, seducing him, taking him, needing him so badly he could have wept. Lust had coursed thickly through his veins. And love. Both forbidden.

He ran his hand through his hair. Oh God, what had he done? What had he dreamed?

*Promise me you won't regret this... *

The words echoed through his mind. His lips parted, but no answer came out.

*

Sam had showered, laundered his clothes, and dressed. By the time he was in the kitchen making French toast and bacon, he'd convinced himself it was just a dream and there would be no consequences. He hadn't really made love to Dean. Dean hadn't clung to him so tight, hadn't told him what was in his heart, hadn't asked for a promise.

There had been much too much turmoil between them. It had to stop, normalize. Then no more dreams would plague him. There. He had a plan. And by God, it would work.

Dean sat up abruptly in his own bed with a sharp gasp. His heart beating hard and fast in his chest, his body trembling a little, but for once, it was not because of a nightmare. The young man’s eyes darted around the room in confusion. A little surprised to find it was morning. Even more surprised that he was alone.

Samuel…

The dream was still so clear in his mind. Every sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. He could remember everything. How beautiful Samuel had looked. The moans and sighs he made in pleasure. The taste of his skin, his tongue. The feeling of the angel’s hands moving over his flesh, moving inside of him… the smell of strawberries…

The young man almost laughed at that last part, but he sobered quickly. An ache and unmistakable longing filling his heart as he looked down at the mess he’d made in the front of his pajamas. His skin still tingled from the release he’d found in his sleep, however the ache he knew he should feel inside him from being so full of Samuel was missing and it drove home the fact that as beautiful and amazing as it had been, it was just a dream.

No, not just. Samuel had been there. Really been there, somehow, he was sure of it. It was not just his imagination. The angel’s touch had been real, even if it hadn’t been ‘real’. Sam’s admission of desire for him… love… that had been real too.

Dean smiled, his heart suddenly feeling so full of emotion that it felt ready to explode, however again the smile slipped from his face as fear crept into him. The same fear he’d felt right as the dream ended. When he’d asked Samuel to promise…

How can you think that? Samuel had asked him, but Dean knew him. He might have only been living with the angel for a week… god it seemed so much longer… But the angel wasn’t as mysterious or complicated as he might like to think. He knew Samuel would try to regret this, even if he didn’t want to. He’d try to deny it.

Dean wouldn’t let him.

The young man cleaned himself off and laid back down in his bed. He needed time to think. To decide what to do. He heard the angel moving around in the apartment not long after but it wasn’t until he smelled breakfast cooking and his stomach started to grumble hungrily that he finally got up.

Stripping off his pajamas… maybe he should just start going to bed naked so he didn’t have to wash them every morning… and pulling on a pair of jeans and nothing else. Ones that hung low on his hips but hugged his ass and thighs nicely. Running his fingers through his hair he smiled at himself in the mirror.

Samuel didn’t have a chance.

Moments later Dean stood in the doorway of the kitchen. Leaning against the frame, for a moment just watching as Samuel cooked. Drinking in the way he moved. The smells of syrup, cinnimon, and bacon were intoxicating, but not nearly as much as the sight of the angel himself.

He stepped into the kitchen, his eyes hungry for the moment only for Samuel, as he pressed himself up against the angel’s back, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. Brushing his lips along the soft skin of the angel’s neck.

With Dean plastered up against him, Sam’s dream slammed into him full force. His chest tightened, preventing him from saying anything before Dean’s mouth was buried in his neck, instantly wreaking havoc with his senses.

“Ah...is this a novel way of saying mornin’ or did you miss me that much?” Sam tried to make light of it, thinking he’d be released instantly. He wasn’t.

“Dean?” Setting down the spatula, he turned his head. Too close... too close to the mouth he’d been kissing all night, too close to the dream... too close to what his mornings could be like if dreams came true.

Putting his hands over Dean’s forearms, he started to pull them apart, even though, God help him, he wanted nothing more than to be held, to feel the heat from Dean’s chest seep through his clothes, and maybe to turn and give him a ‘good morning kiss’ that would make the toast burn, and the smoke alarms go off.

“This isn’t a good idea. For either of us.” He tried to keep the sadness out of his voice, not wanting to affect Dean with his emotions.

Rather than being amused by Samuel’s light attempt at a joke, Dean felt his stomach twist with nervousness. The angel wasn’t just going to pretend it didn’t happen… was he?

The young man lifted his face from Sam’s neck when the angel turned to look at him. He met the angel’s gaze. Letting him see his longing. Refusing to look away. Refusing to let go of Sam even when the angel started gently trying to pull out of his embrace.

This isn’t a good idea. For either of us…

Dean felt his heart plummet just a little more, but then he swallowed hard. A determined light entering his eyes. He wasn’t going to let Samuel just brush off what had happened, let him pretend it never happened, and forget about it. He wanted Sam, and if he had to fight for him…

“That’s not what you said last night while you were fucking me.” The young man said softly. Almost wanting to wince a little at his own choice of words, even though they were true they were also crude and harsh, in his mind not really what happened, but… he couldn’t help being a little angry and hurt.

How could Samuel kiss him like he had, hold him, make love to him, tell him he loved him… and now…?

Sam jerked at the shock of those words, feeling much like something sucked out all the air in his lungs. As he searched Dean’s face and saw no trace of a joke, understanding dawned. “You... you were there? In my dream?” The revelation stilled his efforts at getting away.

He was being pulled in, dragged into that fathomless green gaze... it was dizzying and made him feel so out of control, so different from his usual self assured self. “I pulled you in?” Biting on his lower lip, he frowned, kicking himself for his weakness, and for his inabilities.

Cupping the side of Dean’s face, he spoke in low earnest tones. “You were so angry at me last night. I thought... I thought I could do it, keep out of your head. I didn’t mean to... after that, I would never have dragged you into my mind again on purpose.” He swallowed, seeing every word he said was hurting Dean. “If I were human... if I were, Dean... nothing on earth would stop me from trying to make that dream come true. It’s all I can give you. You deserve so much more.”

He brushed his closed mouth over Dean’s but burned with the fires of the night before. “Please don’t hurt. Please don’t be sad. I can’t stand knowing I do this to you.” Worse yet, Samuel had no clue how he was going to stop this from spiraling out of control when he couldn’t do something simple like guarding his mind.

Samuel’s words made a cold feeling begin to spread in the pit of his stomach. Sam hadn’t known… he was there? He thought it was just a dream… just a dream… Did that make any difference? Dean wanted to believe it didn’t. Samuel had still made love to him, whether he knew it was really him or not, it shouldn’t matter, but somehow it did.

And it hurt. It hurt so much he felt like he couldn’t breathe, and he couldn’t hide it from his face. He couldn’t hide it from his eyes that Sam was looking deep into, but now Dean felt like turning away.

He had asked Samuel not to regret what had happened. Now the angel was apologizing for ‘pulling him in’, and Dean knew… he just knew… If Samuel had known it was really him in the dream, he wouldn’t have touched him. Wouldn’t have kissed him. Wouldn’t have told him he loved him…

He’d only said those things because in his mind it wasn’t him…

If he were human…

Dean closed his eyes when the angel brushed their lips together. A sob tried to work its way up from his throat but he swallowed it down. When they parted and he opened his eyes again his eyelashes were wet, but his expression had switched once again from pain to determination. His hands went around to the back of the angel’s neck, dragging Sam’s lips to his again for a kiss that was anything but chaste. Refusing to let Sam pull away till they were both breathless.

“I was angry last night because what you were showing me… it wasn’t you.” Dean finally said, meeting Samuel’s eyes, refusing to look away. Willing him to understand. “I’ll never want anyone but you… You told me you loved me. You made love to me. You made me believe… Was that all a lie?”

Samuel was breathless from the kiss he hadn’t been able to pull away from. His mouth still burned, still yearned for more. Yearned to pull him up tight, to bring his mouth down… to kiss him… to show him again how he affected him. Centuries long training and dogma tugged him in the other direction. Temptation. Lust. Disobedience. Sin. Dear God, he ached from fighting it.

And staring into Dean’s face, seeing the crystals of moisture in his lashes, hearing the anguish in his voice as he explained himself and asked his question, the Angel knew that this one boy… man, could bring him to his knees without even trying.

The toast started burning. Sam didn't try to pull away, knowing Dean wouldn’t let him go until he had his answer. His throat convulsed. He should tell him a truth… that he needed to find love elsewhere.

“I don’t lie,” he eventually answered, running his thumbs over the corners of Dean’s wet lashes. “Not in dreams. Not ever.” He saw hope light up those fathomless green eyes and felt his heart clench. “Listen to the whole truth Dean. It doesn’t matter how I feel, it doesn’t matter what I want, we can’t be together.”

He turned away. “Breakfast is burning,” he started to pull away.

It really was a strange feeling, dizzying even. Going from feeling such hope, to such despair. Such intense joy to bitter disappointment. Such intense love to anger, not only directed at Samuel, but everything. All with only a few words in the span of a few seconds.

So this is what it felt like to love someone… Dean hated it.

When the angel pulled away from him this time the young man didn’t try to stop him. Didn’t try to hold onto him or cling to him begging him to change his mind. Not this time, because he realized suddenly it didn’t matter.

Samuel loved him, wanted him, he admitted it, but it didn’t make a difference. It didn’t matter what he felt, didn’t matter how Dean felt about him, Samuel wasn’t going to break the ‘rules’ to be with him. The rules. Rules that sounded stupid even to Dean and fine maybe he was naïve about a lot but not even Samuel could explain to him why they were rules.

For perhaps the first time Dean truly regretted that Samuel had dragged him out of hell. Despite the angel’s previous ‘reassurances’ the young man was beginning to believe that he was just going to end up back there anyway once he died. Considering, after all, that he tempted an angel to sin and Dean didn’t even care. He wanted Sam to, damn it. He wanted him… damn the consequences… and damn him too he supposed. If he was just going to be damned anyway, he wished it could be for loving Samuel…

“I would burn for you.” He admitted without shame, before turning and walking out of the kitchen without waiting to see if or how Samuel would respond. Walking back to his room, shutting and locking the door, even though he knew it wouldn’t keep Samuel out if the angel wanted in. Didn’t matter. It didn’t need to keep him out for very long.

Dean finished dressing quickly, catching sight of himself in the mirror and he glared at it hard. Watching it shatter into a million pieces without him touching it.

I would burn for you. I would burn for you. I would burn for you.

The words echoed in Sam’s head, whipping up the maelstrom of emotions that the Angel was already having difficulty controlling. Sexy, sinful words. Seductive. Sad and angry. I would burn for you.

A Hollywood produce would kill for those lines. Five little words that could mean so much… that could hurt so much.

As he salvaged breakfast, Sam resisted the urge to chase Dean. What could he do or say that would make the youth feel better? Only time would heal Dean’s wounds. That wasn’t a lie, it was one of the blessings bestowed upon humans. They loved hard, but they could move on, their hearts would heal with time. But if he tried to tell Dean that again, he was sure Dean would throw it back in his teeth.

He started to take the plates to the dinner table when he heard the sound of shattering glass. “Dean?!” The plates were dumped on the table and Sam was at Dean’s door, trying to open it. “Are you alright, what happened? Dean? Dean!” His heart started to pound. Open this door or I’ll open it. At least he could sense him in the room.

Dean wasn’t surprised when he heard Samuel’s worried voice at his door a few seconds after the mirror broke. Maybe it should have scared him what he had just done… but it was not much different than anything else he could do. He’d always known he was a freak. What was one more thing?

For some reason hearing that concern, that worry, he heard in the angel’s voice only hurt him more. The reminder that Samuel really did care made the young man more sad and angry at the same time. Though he had to wonder if he was really angry at Samuel, or more angry at himself. After all, the angel had told him over and over that they were never going to be together. That hadn’t really changed despite how Dean had pushed. Even last night… Samuel hadn’t known it was really him.

Though he had asked the angel not to regret it, Samuel never really promised him anything. It didn’t really matter, he supposed.

He ignored the angel’s verbal questions as well as his mental demand. Finished tying his up his boots, and stood up from the bed. His boots crunching the broken glass beneath his feet as he went over to the window and opened it.

Don’t come after me. He sent before shutting Samuel out of his mind as he quickly climbed out onto the fire escape and down the ladder.

As soon as his feet hit the pavement he started running. It didn’t matter where, he felt he just needed to get away. Just like the last time. But unlike the last time he’d run away, Dean knew he didn’t just need time alone or to think. He wasn’t coming back again.

Being near Samuel, wanting him so much and not being able to have him, simply hurt too much. In the end this was probably better… for both of them.

Samuel’s mind reeled at the heated mental demand followed by the icy cold emptiness when Dean withdrew from his mind and shut him out. Completely.

Palm against the door, a cool breeze at his back, Sam pushed his way inside. Shards of broken mirror cut deep into his bare feet, but he barely glanced down at the pain. Dean! In a few strides, he’d left a streak of scarlet on the ground and was out the window, wings spread out as he searched, and found his ward.

Flying to a point ahead of him, he dropped down and started talking as Dean approached. “Stop, please Dean. You’re not thinking—“ Angry green eyes stared at him, as the youth walked right by.

He flew past Dean again, then stood directly in his way. “Take your phone. Dean.” This time when Dean passed him, Samuel leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. Free will was a bitch.

Back in his apartment, as he pulled the last pieces of mirror out of his skin, Sam realized they’d both been walking on broken glass and it had only been a matter of time when things would come to a head. He just hoped Dean would cool off before he got into trouble. Cold fear made his stomach clench. Maybe he shouldn’t have protected him from the knowledge of what happened at the bar. Now he’d walked away just as naïve as he’d been on that night.

*
I won’t come after you if you don’t want me, just let me know you’re safe. All day long, Sam got silence in response to his pleas. He was so distracted, he gave up on his errands and went home at noon.

He checked with Bobby and several other places where he thought Dean might have gone, but was told no one had seen him. By evening, he hadn’t eaten or drank a thing, and was sitting looking out the window, motionless except for the air crackling and agitating around him.