When Sam finally woke, it was late, real late into the night. They'd been out for a good twelve ours. With Dean's arms around him, the heat of his body against his own, he felt so... safe, protected. Things were back where they should be again, with Dean normal and able to take back his role. Except Sam had found out he could help his brother too.

He smiled against Dean's throat then lifting his head, looked down at his brother, peaceful in sleep. Was it bad that he saw him differently now? That he loved his brother's full lips, not just for how they looked, but how they felt... the things they could do to him? That thinking about that mouth on his body made him tingle and burn? Swallowing, his eyes swept over the scattering of freckles across the bridge of Dean's nose. You had to be up close or know they were there, or you'd never notice them. Then there were his eyes. One minute they could be filled with mischief, the next so fucking intense it made you hold your breath. But one thing... when he wasn't pushing you away, they left you in no doubt that you were the center of his world.

Sam guessed he'd always known that. It had just been hard to hang onto that feeling when Dean had started pushing him away. Shouting more often, basically rejecting him in ways and for things he didn't understand. Now everything could be right with them. Sam would make sure of it.

Lowering his mouth, he kissed Dean, hard, pushing his tongue inside his brother's mouth, stroking his tongue and the roof of his mouth, making sure he woke him. When he knew Dean was up, he started to pull away and found he was kind of stuck to Dean. A flush of embarrassment swept over him at the knowledge that it was the dried semen between them that was the 'glue.' "We should probably shower. You wanna?" The 'with me' was obvious.

Dean had slept like the dead. If he’d had any dreams, he didn’t remember them. He didn’t move or shift in his sleep at all. He was completely utterly exhausted, and completely lost to the world of the living. The roof might have fallen in on him and he wouldn’t have woken up. That was a dangerous state of exhaustion, especially for a hunter.

Even when he was sick or hurt he usually didn’t let himself sleep that hard, unless he was unconscious. He had to be able to be awake and alert at a moment’s notice, able to protect himself and Sam…

But he felt safe in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. Warm and content… and safe… safe enough to sleep deep and long without fear. Knowing he, and Sam, would be safe until they woke up. Usually Dean didn’t feel that safe unless their dad was around, but this time, this one time, he let himself.

Even when he was drawn out of his deep sleep against his will and without warning by the pressure against his lips, for some reason he wasn’t alarmed. The soft insistent wet tongue invading his mouth, exploring every inch of him, made him moan softly instead of jerk awake reaching for a weapon at hand. His arms tightened a little around the warm naked body pressed against him, his own tongue tangling with the one in his mouth. His eyes finally fluttered open, a soft sound of complaint escaping his throat, when those sweet lips pulled away.

“Sam?” Dean whispered, still half confused by what was happening as the rest of his brain struggled to wake up. Sam was still with him… had never moved away from him, obviously, by the way they were still ‘stuck’ together. Dean blinked up at the younger boy. Yeah… a shower would probably be good, but… Dean swallowed hard…

They needed to talk. Sam had to understand that just because his brother was a sick fuck that wanted to fuck his baby brother, Sam didn’t need to… let him… The incubus was gone… at least Dean was sure it was gone. It was just his own sick twisted desires left. They might have been tying him up in knots for months, but he could control them.

“Sammy… I… you don’t have to… do this…” Dean finally forced out, forcing himself to loosen his hold on the younger boy in his arms. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry you had to… I never wanted you to know, but you don’t have to anymore.”

Icy fingers of fear had Sam meeting Dean's eyes as he waited to be pushed away, to be rejected. It never came. Listening both to Dean's words and his body language, Sam understood this was an apology and an opportunity to walk out the door, that was all. Dean was being honorable, as usual, possibly at the cost of his own happiness. He could see pain in his brother's eyes, regret. Bet he'd rather have died, been sucked of all of his energy by that incubus than to have caused Sam to do this, to make love with him.

Complicated, hell yeah. Sam had known that, known what he was getting into. He'd known it as well as he knew his heart, and in his heart he knew this wasn't just about the incubus. That might have been the catalyst for him learning what he wanted, needed from Dean, but that wasn't the reason he wanted to stay curled up against this brother, wasn't the reason he wanted some assurance that this was not the last time, that they'd explore this... maybe just accept it.

He licked his lips, tightened his own grip on his brother. "It's... it's not about that Dean. I... I want this, wanted it before, want it now," he said softy, trying to explain. "That thing is gone now, but this... this thing between us, it's still here. I know you think I'm a kid, you do," he insisted before Dean could interrupt him. "But I know my mind Dean, I know what I want. I want you... want to be with you like this, only you." He skimmed his mouth over Dean's, loving the heat... the electricity that was between them. He couldn't give that up, wouldn't.

Dean wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting. Maybe to see a flash of relief in the younger boy’s eyes now that he didn’t have to let his sick older brother use his body. Maybe he just expected Sam to nod in agreement and leave. At least his brother was kind enough not to let his revulsion show… He hadn’t been expecting his brother to hold onto him tighter. Almost desperately tight.

“Sammy?” Dean could only whisper in disbelief and confusion. What did Sam mean that it wasn’t about the incubus? The fact that the creature had been killing him… Sam had no choice… of course it was about that. But Dean wasn’t in ‘danger’ anymore. Sam didn’t need to keep doing this. Surely his brother had to realize…

But Sam was saying… that he… wanted this… before…

Dean’s expression clouded over with even more disbelief. How could Sam possibly have wanted this before? How could he want it now! They both couldn’t possibly be this fucked up… oh god, had he damaged Sam more than he thought? Now Sam thought that he actually…

He wanted to protest what Sam was saying, but honestly he didn’t even know where to start. There was so much so very wrong… No, Sam wasn’t a ‘kid’ anymore. That was part of the problem. But he was still so damned young. Not to mention Sam was his little brother. His brother had never even… been with anyone before… except him. Fuck, that was so wrong…

Sam telling him that he wanted him, only him… it nearly broke his heart, even as he felt it fill with a treacherous hope he had no right feeling. Then Sam’s soft lips were gently caressing his own and Dean knew he was lost. God help him, he couldn’t fight this, especially if Sam wouldn’t push him away like he should.

“I should go to hell for touching you this way… loving you this way…” Dean whispered, maybe praying that his brother would come to his senses and stop him from ruining him. Praying Sam would come to his senses even as he kissed the younger boy.

Sam's answer died on his lips as Dean gave in and kissed him. Groaning softly, Sam tangled his tongue with his brother's inside his mouth, stroking, tasting, loving Dean, hanging onto him, holding him tight, showing him silently that he meant what he said, that he wanted this... needed it. They kissed until he had to pull up to take a breath.

His eyes locked with Dean's. He licked his mouth, tasting Dean there, and swallowed. "You were on your way anyway. I'm... I'm just saving you from it, from your slutting around." He gave a dimpled smile, then lowered his mouth again for another mind drugging kiss. God... he loved the way Dean held him tight, the way his hands roved over his body without even the slightest hesitation. No awkward explorations, no experimental first-time touches. It was perfect, Dean was perfect.

This time when he broke the kiss, he had no doubt he had Dean. His lips quirked into another smile. "Want you to kiss me when you're all wet... in the shower." Before his brother could answer, Sam rolled off him, and walked away, that smile still firmly in place and certain, Dean would follow.

Dean couldn’t help but moan softly against his brother’s lips as he surrendered to the gentle loving kiss Sam eagerly returned and the older boy knew he was lost. It was still wrong, would always be wrong, but as long as his brother let him have this… wanted it just as much as he did… Dean knew he was lost. He could only pray when the day came Sam realized that this wasn’t what he really wanted, his brother wouldn’t hate him. When the day came that Sam didn’t want this anymore, didn’t want him anymore, Dean would let him go… no matter how it might break his heart…

Now, Dean couldn’t push Sam away. He’d promised… He wasn’t strong enough even if he hadn’t made that promise.

When Sam finally pulled back from their kiss that left them both panting a little, Dean’s eyebrows shot up a little at the younger boy’s words. Slutting around… that little cheeky bitch. Dean would have had quite a few things to say to that if Sam didn’t proceed to silence him with another kiss. Little shit. And here he was worried about ruining his brother. The younger boy was still the pain in the ass little brother he always was.

The next time Sam pulled away, making his suggestion that they continue this ‘discussion’ in the shower, Dean couldn’t help but return the younger boy’s grin though he didn’t move right away. Simply watching Sam as his brother rolled off him and headed off to the bathroom naked as the day he was born and not the least bit shy apparently showing himself off.

Dean couldn’t help but smile more, a cautious optimism filling him in spite of everything. Maybe it would be ok after all.

Hearing the shower start Dean pushed himself up from the bed, following after Sam.